sangeletic

I am a fat girl in a thin body now trying to learn how to lose weight, and TONE up!  I have lost the weight, now I need to TONE up….I did my BMI 22%…and strength at 21.5% now and I am almost catergorized as ATHLETIC! Ok me? or the person before me…I think the thing was stuck on the previous persons info…So according to the strength-o-meter….I am almost there to being athletic 9under 20%body fat.)   So all I know how to do at the Y is get up on the eliptical, which I am getting used to doing for 15 minute intervals…and walking on the treadmill….Ok I can bicycle, who can’t? but other than that….uh I am lost and there is no one to show me…so I continue to get up on the same ol same ol machine and workout, but I wish I knew how to get this tummy to disipate…..I know crunches will do it, but come on how likely am I to do that? UH NOT! so I want to work on it at the Y am hope that my body fat continues to decrease as my weight is increasing, which I am not happy about but they say muscle weighs more than Fat…trouble is then why do I feel Fatter, yet sore! Lol…..I am trying to draw a parallel here and learn…..will they think I am crazy if I want to test my body fat composition every time I gain weight? I sure hope not, cause I know I will be asking…so now you see why I  am lost at the Y!

Ok this is something new that I am struggling with….I have had a best friend for 12 years and now that I have lost weight she never talks to me, I call her she never returns my calls, and I miss our friendship.  I attribute this to my weight being a lot less than hers now, as we used to go out to eat and do yard sales, and eat afterwards, and watch movies, and eat afterwards, and go to the mall, and Eat….so now I am watching what I eat so, no more eatting parties….I miss this, but I am adjusting because I know you can’t eat everything yummy and maintain weight loss.  People say to me when are you going off of your diet? I say this is my NEW way of living, not so much a diet as people call it, but a change in what I eat now! I avoid beef, sodas, junk food, unless it is lowfat, fat free, or cookies on sunday at church….GOD takes the calories out of them when I eat them only on Sunday…..But anyways, now I have another friend who tells me she misses the FAT Angie, and this hurts, because I am the same person, just I can’t Eat everything bad, because Lets face it, I have done this too many times and I know if you cheat it will catch up with you.  How do people think you get smaller? thinner? magically? and that it is fun not being able to eat and enjoy sociallizing while eatting? Its not!!!  I wish I could eat free as I choose, I miss that, I love to eat! But I am no fool, I know what to do…but it gets lonely at the top when friends think you are thin so your no fun….Oh well I will lose one friend and keep trying to convince my other friend that I am not a different person, just smaller…  but it does stink that as you maintain weight control issues, other issues start to mount…why does everything have to be so complicated????