sangeletic

I am frustrated, aggrevated, but yet determined! So this week has been an unusual week! It seems as if this week was worse than the last with all that holiday stuff going on! Now at work we have a new (LAZY) manager! She is a nice person, I have no problem with her as a person, yet she doesn’t do any work.  My husband says I am stressing over nothing at all, and I need to just lay back and watch and let the stuff fall apart around me! Now I am not one to do this! I like order, peace, and things running smoothly! I like to be in control and ahead of the game, so I know whats what, and be prepared for my daily tasks! Well this new mangaer could not give a flying rats butt about anything! I guess she figures that I will do it (and she is right, because I have to!) and she can lie back and coast through the day! I was up all night last niight with a splitting headache thinking about work! When I am at home I shouldn’t have to worry about work! I am not the manager, I shouldn’t be concerned, yet I am, I have had jobs before where they come in one day and say well your position is gone, and as a matter of a fact so is the whole OFFICE! We are now closed! So I can’t let crap fall apart around me! This has made me a more determined person, to keep things running smoothly, but I cant do it alone! Ok enough ranting….

And on a different note, my son was sick with 104 temp on Saturday, coughing severely on Sunday and Monday, I took him to the dr. on Tuesday evening after work, and before I got home my hubby calls to say oh yeah our child (who is 4) is covered with a rash! What kind? a little here and there? NO!!!!!!!! A FULLL BODDDYYYY RASHHHH! spots everywhere! took him to the dr. and she says it could be a virial rash, alergic reaction to amoxicillan, or roseola! What the heck! Ok so I got through Tuesday, suffered through Wednesday at work, called to ck on my baby hubby said he was fine, rash now is like huge blobs of red all over!, and came home to find out my daughter (10) is crying as soon as I walk in the door! What wrong I ask! She says I HAVE THE SPOTS! UGHHHHH!!! NOW the dr. told me it wasn’t contagious to send my son to school although I did not, and now my daughter has the mysterious could be anything spots! Well its not amoxicillan alergy at least I know that now, and so I guess it has to be viral because it is airborne, she hasn’t drank out of a sippy cup obviously! or eatten after him, he hasn’t eaten a meal in over a week! So Now I wait, I wait for my work conditions to improve, and I wait for my kids to get better, all I can do is wait, yet the stress levels are at an all time high right now with me! My head is exploding, headaches, and aggrevation!

I guess If I get the spots, it will be for the best, then I will be able to VEG out, stay home with the kids, and not worry about work right now! Hmmm doesn’t sound half bad now that I put that into perspective!

I love blogging on here it helps me vent! I think we all need to vent sometimes!

I have not really been eatting at all this week, nerves mainly! I have been doing a phenominal job on my diet I must say, I only ate like 900 calories yesterday and 8 g of fat! Most of those calories was from cocoa pebbles last night! That is my “pretend” junk food! I so love them! I hope to get online more this weekend and stay in touch with my buddies, stay focussed keep your goals in mind, and pray I pull through this mess of a week! Angie

So Thanksgiving is over, i did surpisingly well!  It wasn’t hard though i took one look at the sweet potatoe casserole on the table, and it looked awful! burnt, and terrible! Ha Ha the cards were in my table!  I ate my salad, my mother in law wanted me to put cheese on it! i stood firm and put it on the table NEAR the salad, not on it! She served appetizers, shrimp, meatballs, rolls, and other finger foods, I avoided the pre-meal….altogether…I had my salad, my steam bag full of veggies, my turkey breast from the night before roasted in my rottisserie machine, and my sweet potatoes, with NOTHING ADDED TO THEM! I ate good! I was happy to be around family, and I was happy to know I wasn’t going to gain any weight from 1 meal! I did eat some desert…thats a weakness of mine, but I only had 2 spoon fulls of razberry triffle, and 2 of chocolate triffle! I did bring some home and anticipated being BAD! but I gave the chocolate triffle to my daughter, she gladly ate it, and I was mmmm,..missing it, but not my weight! I got through this day, now if I can keep up my determination for the holidays I’ll be ok!

Pre-Thanksgiving meal!

Ok so I really do not take too much time out for myself. I am the type where I do so much for everyone else all day long, then I realize at the end of the week, that I haven’t really done anything for myself! By this I mean the simple stuff, watch a favorite daily television show, or even a weekly television episode! Go to the movies, out to eat, for a quiet walk alone, or anything. basically the only thing I do quietly is read the paper, or blog in my food journal what I ate for the day, and then calculate the totals. So where I am headed to is that I NEVER EVER EVER get any alone time for the bathtub! I usually take a quick 5-7 minute shower in the morning and get ready and rush to complete my morning tasks! So tonight, I did my daily treadmill exercises, (I skipped out yesterday and this am)So I walked tonight for 36 minutes, 2 miles. Afterwards I continued on with my chores, and went to take a bath afterwards. THEN THAT”S WHEN IT HIT ME! I have not taken a bath in forever, like at least a month and a half! And during that time my hubby came home and interrupted talking about stuff that went on that day at his job. So as I was sitting there first I realized that there didn’t seem to be enough water in my tub, funny I ran the same amount as I usually do. The water usually is so high that it starts to drain out through the stopper as I fully emerge my body into the water. The water was only half way filled? Hmmm that’s odd, then I realized that my STOMACH was covered! OMG! I have sat in this tub for over 5 years now thinking I guess this water will NEVER cover my stomach again! I usually sit there (and this is probably why I don’t feel its necessary to take baths and soak in the tub frequently) and look at my big ol’ stomach and try to see my belly button to make sure it is clean, and struggle to shave, and get out by turning around carefully to not put any strain of weight on my knees, and get out as if I was still pregnant like I was 5 years ago! Now this time was different! I saw my belly button, it was clean too, and I saw beyond it, and I shaved effortlessly, so much that I am sure I am gonna drive my hubby nuts! So anyways, I sat there a good 30 minutes thinking is this tub getting larger? or is this for real? It is funny how the little things mean so much to you when you lose weight! Things that never would have occurred to me before to get my butt in gear and stop living like I was 100 years old! I am young, 32 in fact, I should be sexy, I should be thinner, I should be all that I can be while I still have tip top health! The only thing holding me back was myself! I am so glad I took a bath tonight! I feel so much prouder of myself now, and I encourage all who are losing weight and taking drastic steps, like 50 lbs or more to TAKE A BATH! And enjoy the simple things in life that mean so much!

Seems like I have been losing a consistent 2 lbs a week, I was feeling like the rut was bound to stay!  So I worked my tail off, excercised everyday this week, and ate right too! I drank my water, and I am trying to get in the mindset that I need to be in for the holidays….ignor all the people eatting all of the cookies, pies, and yummy stuff because I wanna be looking fine come the NEW YEAR! My goal is to have all of my weight gone by the new year, although I know the farther down you go, the harder the pounds are to keep coming off! I really just needed a booster to get me happy and energized for the holidays.   so I did manage to lose 4.2 lbs! I will take it!!!!!

My daughter told me (grandma-my mother in law) is having 21 people over for Thanksgiving, of which I have no ides whom they are, but it will be interresting, I will be munching on my veggies and spoon full of everything else with my turket breast I am making for myself…and they will be indulging, the only thing good coming from that is when I start telling everybody that I have lost weight, then I will be set.  I have gotten to the point that people at work notice the weight change everyday now! I sure do enjoy th compliments I have to say, although sometimes they are a bit much.  Yesterday this guy said UMmmph….check out Angie she lost all this weight so now she has to flaunt it! ok, I was wearing a work issued shirt, (a medium one now as opposed to 1xl) and black dress pants, and sneakers! How was I flaunting it I will not be able to figure out! I was lifting heavy objects, and putting boxes away….ok I was showing off…How I dunno.   So thats what I mean, but it is very flattering I must say! My hubby got on the band wagon that he wanted a drink last night, and he hasn’t drank since July 4th, so I told him good, cause I wanted a whole chocolate cake anyhow! To go get me one! He loves having the skinnier version of me around, So he did abstain from the booze although he said its gonna be on come New Years! I hate that he is thinking about that again, I told him he was gonna have to go to an AA meeting and he hated that idea, so he was good last night, and me, well I just dreamed of Chocolate cake! Keep Dreaming, I am not gonna get it!

Ok so i told you I don’t buy junk food anymore, I went to the grocery store bought 35 bucks worth of groceries even though I spent 50 yesterday! And I was proud to announce nothing junky in my buggy! I got home fed the kids, put on a rottisseerie ckn for my hubby and for tomorrow nights meal, started my red beans and rice, excercised, did 20 minutes on the treadmill full blast, for me thats a little over a mile, and then ATE 1000! Crutons! Ughhhh I couldnt stop! I did at least buy the kind that are fat free, but we all know calories add up! I called a friend to “Confess” and she told me good grief, I ate a bag of Dove Chocolates today! so ok that made me feel better until i recorded the 20 so called servings of crutons times the calorie amount 30 for a grand total of 600 calories! What! I could have eatten the dag on chocolates for that staggering total of calories! So my dinner has had to be alterred! Now I am having steamed tilapia, shrimp, brocoli, and red beand and rice….I must cut calories to not lose ground . I mean why bother walking on the treadmill to kill my self with CRUTONS! Ughhhhh….(Stop laughing! this is serious!) Well enjoy the rest of the week, maybe I will get my butt back on the treadmill tonight for some remedial punishmnet!

Ok so now I am determined to kick it into high gear! I am looking at the mirror at myself and I must add I see a huge improvement but I need to target my trouble zones now!  Hence the reason for my new toy I bought this weekend!  I was searching for a treadmill, I had one once before but I sold it after losing weight before (they are huge and take up a good amount of space!) I finally found one at a yard sale for 50 dollars! tried to get the lady to take ….25…but I knew I was buying it no matter how much she may have or not went down on the price! worth a hot I thought! she told me no 40 is as low as she could go, I said well If I can get it into my car I can give ou 35…he he I love to bargain hunt…Its a hobby…so she said ok! So I tried my darndness…(hey thats a southern word) to get it in but to no avail! So she offered to drive it over to my house 20 miles each way. Now I felt bad cause she was so nice to offer that so when she came ovwer i did give her 40 bucks but I wish I would have given her the extra 10 just for her gas$.  Anyways I walked on it a few  minutes last night, and  20 minutes tonight.  I must kick it into high gear and force myself to excercise! I need to do sit ups in the am for my belly!, and walking in the am and pm, for my Thighs! Ughhhh, thats the only way I feel they are gonna improve, you know we are our worse critics! thanksgiving is coming up and I want 4lbs to be gone by then so I will be almost at my mini goal! I am determined, and motivated so why not shoot for the stars!   

when i got knee deep pulling her winter jackets down from the top rack and into her main hanger rack I discovered some clothes to fit ME! She is 10 and I guess I had gotten so big that I didn’t even noticed instead of buying a 10 in girls I must have bought a 10 in womens vests last year (at a garage sale) and I out them in the top of her closet because they were too big for her.  Well as I was cleaning I found 3 vests, and a long sleeve shirt to fit me! Yahoo, well as I am enthuised about this she is saying MOM! You can wear MY clothes now?!!?? and I tried to explain that it was a 10 in womens yet she doesn’t want to listen! She is thin very thin and is only 10 so she thinks she must be getting fat..lol..NO I am getting smaller finally I told her! I am so excited I gave some Of my clothes away yesterday too, I met this lady in the goodwill and she was talking with her friend, about a new job she got, and I overheard her say look for some clothes for me I have nothing…so being the thrifty person I am I rolled my cart over to hers, and I explained to her that i was not trying to be rude, but that if she was a 16-18w…I had tons of clothes for her! She was ecstatic, and I got her cell phone number and I rushed home to dig in the attic to find some clothes for her!  I got out a huge black 39 gallon trach bag full of clothes for her, as well as 10 things crowding up my own closet, like heavy jackets and such!  She was so happy to recieve these and she came straight to get them…So I get a few clothes, and she gets all the rest! Lol…And I found 13 dollars, and 2 chick-fil-a coupons for free sandwhiches.. to boot while going through pockets to make sure no items were left behind in jackets.  We wet and got the sandwiches and they let me get GRILLED ONES! So every thing worked out! 

It seems as if I have started to live just to eat again!  And I hate that! I have been doing so good on my diet, had a consistent 2lb loss every week, and now it is if my body has gotten used to eatting less, and I have started to want MORE food! I was doing so good! Sobbing! Well I have stopped the diet pill for a week and a half now, although I only took 1/2 a day anyways…15 mg. Well Last night I was eatting some chips, ff ones I have enough willpower to at least eat those! And my hubby came home and saw me chomping and said well I wasn’t gonna say anything when you got big again, but Now since you have lost 50 lbs I don’t want you to start eatting this junk again and blow up!  I don’t know if I was furious at him, or gratefull!  So I had him put the chips out of the area, lol…and then he said hey do we have any lowfat popcorn to munch on? so I made that and ate a few handfulls and then I got a yogurt..Not bad choices, just the calories are slowly creeping back up….1300…when I was eatting under 1000 a day!  Ok I know al ot of people told me I was eatting to low for calories, but I am happy with the 2lb loss, and I dont want it to stop! Wah wah…why can’t I have it both ways! This sucks!  well I think maybe I need more meat in my diet, I have settled for 3-4 oz of chkn forever…well from the last few mos. everyday!  So I think maybe I will up it to 6oz each day, maybe I need that as a filler and protein is the energy boost I probably need.  Also I have been eatting a banana for breakfast and skipping lunch or eatting a yogurt and fruit…well today I had a tomato soup at hand cup, for a mid day boost and I think it worked! I really hope I lose weight this week! I have become obsessed with the scales, makes me wish I never would have purchased a new digital scale last Friday night! Ah well, I did post a new picture, thanks for noticing, lots of people have….That makes me feel positive….I have 20 more lbs to go seems to me like I am gonna have to start pulling, tugging them and Yanking them off, Thats the only way they are moving! They like it here……

It seems as if 3 months of hunger came rushing back! All today!  I usually eat light in the am, and I did again today, then at 12 I ate a yummy sandwich with chkn leftovers and made some onion soup, ok that was good! Then 1 hour later and way to early to even be thinking about food, I ate some chips-don’t fret the were ffree cheddar and sour cream and I counted them to ensure only 1 serving was consumed!  Now It is 5ish and I am starved, what the heck so early? So I assembled dinner and Boy like a nother person was emerging from my body I started wanting to munch on everything! Lol….But instead I filled up my plate with about enough food for 3 of us! My plate was piled high! I had no portion control whatsoever! I just decided eat this now and all of it, and you won’t want any JUNK food! So lets hope this works out! I made then chkn leftovers…. the last of them….and a ton of spinach,  onions, peppers, ff cheese, mushrooms, squash, carrots, mixed it all up and wa0la…now 4 mos. ago I would have seen this same plate and been like ewwww no way am I gonna eat this, but I have grown to love these veggies! I know my body needs them, so why not enjoy them? I got a little over 2/3rds done and I AM FULL!!!! Lets hope my motivation to stay away from the junk continues tonight, and if not I will have to eat the rest of this plate as a prevention method! Tomorrow is a new day, Hope I won’t be hungry girl tomorrow!    Angie