sangeletic

I really don’t know how I continue this roller coaster ride in my life!  You would think I would be sick of it!~  I know how to lose weight, I have done it!  I saw something in a magazine the other day…You don’t need a diet, you need momentum…This was aimed at weight watchers I believe, yet it meant the worl d to me!  IT IS SO TRUE!  I need the will power and momentum, Ok,….For those of you who don’t know me…I was fat as a teenager, 185 lbs…lost down to 135 met my hubby…2 years later got pregnant, had my daughter, went up to 200lbs…said i would die if I hit 200!  I DID…hit 200, I didn’t die, just felt terrible…had no desire to lose the weight until 4 years later…lost down to 145…got pregnant again, had my son, went up to 215!  Ughhh so lost that weight to 200 lbs then ballooned up to 225….then i decided something had to be done!  Lost my weight after just 1 year, down to 139!  Again awesome!   now here I am the weight creeping back on, I am here writiing as I now weigh 165 2 years after losing all the weight, I am in size 14 again, my biggest was 20…just 6 sizes away from that again, and I am distraught!  I love junk food that is my problem!  I have stayed away from beef, mayo, anything fattening out of my diet now, but when it comes to sweets, all bets are off! It is killing me!  I love junk!  I have been eatting BAGS of mints everyday!  Literally 3 bags of lifesaver mints! like a crack addict!  I must stop this! winter is coming, my pants aren’t gonna fit AGAIN!  this is ridiculous!  I guess if I start blogging again this will help!  It has helped before and I am sure it will help again!  So today I started off with 2 pieces of toast with strawberry jelly, and lets see where this leads me…..

But as you can tell that is FALSE! Since I have been doing this, consistently unfortunately since halloween (decided a little candy on my birthday wouldn’t hurt!) I have been on a downward spiral…..So now 30 lbs back on and I have to stop it! I am here again because MY butt is getting larger by the minute….folks I was in a size 6 last summer, and now I am inching away from a 12!  That is insane butt I love choclate and junk food and there is no little bit for me, if I buy it I EAT IT!  So I HAVE GOT TO STOP BUYING IT!  Please help me jump back on this journey as I need to desperatly do this YET AGAIN before it is too late and I gain all 80 lbs I lost back….already gained 30 back!  ARGHHHHHH!!!!!!HELP!!!!!!

I am a fat girl in a thin body now trying to learn how to lose weight, and TONE up!  I have lost the weight, now I need to TONE up….I did my BMI 22%…and strength at 21.5% now and I am almost catergorized as ATHLETIC! Ok me? or the person before me…I think the thing was stuck on the previous persons info…So according to the strength-o-meter….I am almost there to being athletic 9under 20%body fat.)   So all I know how to do at the Y is get up on the eliptical, which I am getting used to doing for 15 minute intervals…and walking on the treadmill….Ok I can bicycle, who can’t? but other than that….uh I am lost and there is no one to show me…so I continue to get up on the same ol same ol machine and workout, but I wish I knew how to get this tummy to disipate…..I know crunches will do it, but come on how likely am I to do that? UH NOT! so I want to work on it at the Y am hope that my body fat continues to decrease as my weight is increasing, which I am not happy about but they say muscle weighs more than Fat…trouble is then why do I feel Fatter, yet sore! Lol…..I am trying to draw a parallel here and learn…..will they think I am crazy if I want to test my body fat composition every time I gain weight? I sure hope not, cause I know I will be asking…so now you see why I  am lost at the Y!

Ok this is something new that I am struggling with….I have had a best friend for 12 years and now that I have lost weight she never talks to me, I call her she never returns my calls, and I miss our friendship.  I attribute this to my weight being a lot less than hers now, as we used to go out to eat and do yard sales, and eat afterwards, and watch movies, and eat afterwards, and go to the mall, and Eat….so now I am watching what I eat so, no more eatting parties….I miss this, but I am adjusting because I know you can’t eat everything yummy and maintain weight loss.  People say to me when are you going off of your diet? I say this is my NEW way of living, not so much a diet as people call it, but a change in what I eat now! I avoid beef, sodas, junk food, unless it is lowfat, fat free, or cookies on sunday at church….GOD takes the calories out of them when I eat them only on Sunday…..But anyways, now I have another friend who tells me she misses the FAT Angie, and this hurts, because I am the same person, just I can’t Eat everything bad, because Lets face it, I have done this too many times and I know if you cheat it will catch up with you.  How do people think you get smaller? thinner? magically? and that it is fun not being able to eat and enjoy sociallizing while eatting? Its not!!!  I wish I could eat free as I choose, I miss that, I love to eat! But I am no fool, I know what to do…but it gets lonely at the top when friends think you are thin so your no fun….Oh well I will lose one friend and keep trying to convince my other friend that I am not a different person, just smaller…  but it does stink that as you maintain weight control issues, other issues start to mount…why does everything have to be so complicated????

I Have been really really busy this year! Wow so much has happened! Well First I am at 145, so I have maintained my weight thus far and as of July 28th (my anniversary of the first day of my diet last year!) I have accomplished what I wanted! yahoo…..I seemed to find that sitting on the computer typing a lot was causing me to want to MUNCH, so I tried to stop coming on as much, but gosh I miss my online buddies! Well we had so much happeneing this Winter of the New year 08, ceiling fell in in my sons room,  I found a lump in my breast, had it removed, cancer free, Just a scary situation, no manager at work for months then 3 ran in one door and out the other basically, now the fourth is acting up, so….of course now my hubby has to act up too….He quit his job…to …get a break he says…..OK FROM WHAT?…lol….anyways I am trying to not let it stress me out, I started a garden, it did really well, traded my junk food this year for veggies! The zucchini squash  really took off and I learned there is lots you can do with it! And it tastes good too….thats a plus! I hate eatting something because it is good for you, If I am gonna consume it, I want it to taste excellent, and then worth the calories!…..So I started going to CHURCH….Easter Sunday actually, and found a church that I am LOVING! I got baptized JUNE 1st, and joined the church early JULY!  I told you lots has been going on!  My kids are gonna start going to a new school in 2 weeks, a charter school, so I am a bit nervous/excited about it!  It will be an adjustment for us all, but my 6th grader and Kindergardener will get to go to the same school so that is a plus….I will have to get up earlier leave the house earlier, and get to work earlier too, actually 45 minutes too early everyday, so I am contemplating joining the Y….if they have showers at the location I am looking into…..and then My kids will be in agter school childcare for the first time ever this year too….so you can see why I am nervous.   But other than that everything is the same, I stopped journalling my food now, journalling is important though, maybe I will pick that back up once I have that extra time to kill in the mornings when school starts back….but I am still eatting RIGHT!….I still ahven’t had any red meat in a year, just lots of ckn, and shrimp, and fish, and TONS OF VEGGIES! and well I let myself have cookies ONLY on SUNDAY before church service they offer some….so HEY I CAN”T REFUSE!…..But still no junk comes into my house, thats the only way for me!   I hope to here from all my buddies again soon! Love always Angie

Sounds like the beginnning of Amazing Grace! Great song…anyways….I have been lost, but now I am found….Ok so my very good buddies have missed me! I feel so loved! I have always loved buddy slim for the support and the accountability, and I have been gone and so many of you have been wondering why, some of you even thought I gained all my weight back, in a month….well shucks I’d have to really have given up for that to have happened! Anyways I have been so busy, and scared, and tired, and well just iving life! I was way to busy to log on for quite some time, heck my regular email said 1030 messages! OK! Thats a lot! LOl….I am maintaining the weigh loss, at 143 now, I have good days and bad ones, my original goal was 150 so I am happy here at 143, I hate to see the scales go over 145 though gets me too nervous.  I have really trained myself where I am never hungry, just munch a lot to stay that way so That I can’t over indulge! I had found a lump in my breast in Nov. finally went to the DR in Jan, got referred to a surgeon, finally had breast surgery in March and CANCER FREE!!!!  I had the lump removed I was extremely sore, and now the bills are pilling in! So dissappointing, insurance doesn’t cover much, I have Blue Cross and Blue Shield and its an extreme case where they only pay for catostrophic incidences due to my high deductible, keeping my monthly insurance rates down under 400$!  So here come the bills! Well I was recovering and just starting to get back online now, but I do so miss my buddies!  Thanks for still remembering me, and caring to reach out…..Oh I saw my Grandma for the first time in 16 years too! She saw my kids, her great grand kids for the 1st time ever too, last weekend! So that was exciting! Ok well KIT I will log on more often now…I promise! Angie

Ok guys, I am back down again….I do hate how now my weight fluctuates soooo much, its like one week up the next week down….I have been eatting basically the same stuff…I think my body likes to trick me, whatever I eat this week I will not get any results til next week, so I feel like the exercise and food I eat is on a week delay….lol….I know thats impossible, because right after I eat I am always 2lbs heavier…

Sat Jan 26th 147.2

Sat Feb 2nd 144.2

Sat Feb 9th 146.7

Sat Feb 16th 142.2

See what I mean? Oh well…I am happy to be down this week….

Hope you all have a great weekend.

Been doing ok, getting used to hubby’s new schedule, puts a strain on mine a bit more too, Been doing great this week food wise! I have reallyyy decided that breakfast will cause me to eat MORE! Once I start i just can’t stop…lol….so i don’t start eatting til like 3pm, and then I eat lunch a sensible dinner and a few snacks, and it seems to be working….of course lots of water! Especially in the am…..Well I hope everyone got the valentine they were looking for, mine is at work…my hubby! Boo whoo….lol….enough valentines talk! See ya later! Angie ….p.s…. the scales are smiling again……

I have gone awol this week and its partially due to the fact that this has been a hell of a year! I am so frustrated at times and shoot I start to sound as mad with the world sometimes! Lol….Let me explain….ok last friday my hubby got in an acident, messed up his car pretty bad(undrivable) AND this girl hits him in a BMW, from the side my hubbys fault gets a ticket and decides he doesn’t want the insurance company filling a claim….Why? because insurance will go up! Ok….So I am fighting him all the way, and he wants to pay off their damages…10,000K worth!…finally the BMW girl’s hubby said that they wouldn’t meet at a lawyers office so finaly my hubby saw the light and said let the ins. co. file the claim! Thank god! So….we don’t have 10K laying around…he was gonna take a mortgage out on our paid off house! So thats over THank god! so then he tells me he QUIT his job, decided it wasn’t for him any more! What the heck!!!! All of a sudden! he said the accident woke him up! Ok….so then he tells me he is starting another job much less pay though tomorrow! ok thank god…a job at least…now he is seriously stressing about his job…and mine is no better either right now! I go to work for a meeting, and we address tons of issues when it gets to me…I express my disgust with the laziness around the place, and then i am told its because well i do everything so it gives no one else a chance to do anything…so I ned to dictate more and do less…..Ok that was strange! Lol…..I missed the weigh in this week with the hot rods, I wasn’t able to lose either, actually went up 3lbs ughhhh…I will have to work my butt off to get those back off…they will go though I know it!

My diet this week was fair up in calories, low in fat still. under 20 g each day…the calories were creeping around 1800 each day, and I realize the cals have to stay under 1500 for results within  my weight…..maintaining, or losing!

I am so sore, i got a new couch this weekend, and it was heavy as heck, not to mention moving the old one out! They both have made my upper body ache, hands forearm, and back too! Its like a huge workout, but no weight loss associated…hey that stinks! Ok well its back to the grind this week and I will try to log on at least every other day to keep up with my buddies, and support you all! You have been a blessing to me checking in with me and keeping things real and helping me stay on track1 I depend on ya’lls support, and it helps to keep me motivated! I hope my support does the same for you! Angie

Ok this is the 28th week of my diet, and the 190th day!

I am doing fine now, I was stuck for a month with no losses, and this week I tured that around!

saturdays diet  1586 calories/9.25 grams of fat

Special k bliss bar 100 calories/2g
special k blueberry bar 90 calories/1.5g
Pretzel Auntie Annes at the mall( NO BUTTER!) 350 calories/2g
marshmallows 300 calories/og
chkn breast 150 calories/2g
pasta roni 1/4th cup 50 calories/.75 g
speghetti squash 1/2 total….46 calories
1 can mushrooms 40 calories
1/2 bell pepper 20 cal
1/2 red and yellow pepper 20 cal
1/2 vidalia onion 30 cal
marinara sauce with diced tomatoes 40 cal
chkn breast 50 cal /1g
spinach 20 cal

marshmallows 100 calories
ice cream fat free 1 cup 2 servings 180 calories

I did well avoided any chuck e cheese temptations, adn had a great day! The scale is down today too!